listening

the city has a certain quiet that's not at all like the quiet of the small town that i've been playing tag with for the last couple of years. i suppose one expects quiet in the places far removed from urban spots and so it doesn't seem unsettling or strange or more-than-it-should-be-quiet there. but i'm sitting here now in my little city place and it's not very late, although it is a monday, and it's distractingly quiet. like i want to play some music or pop in a movie but that seems so invasive. i can hear the sound of the fan that constantly runs in my bedroom but nothing else. it's almost deafening. the quiet. i need to make peace with it if i'm going to stay here. expect the unexpected. maybe i'm just tired or losing it a little or missing my small town just a little and so the quiet that is usually ignored is much more vocal to this city girl who's just trying to listen.