listening

the city has a certain quiet that's not at all like the quiet of the small town that i've been playing tag with for the last couple of years. i suppose one expects quiet in the places far removed from urban spots and so it doesn't seem unsettling or strange or more-than-it-should-be-quiet there. but i'm sitting here now in my little city place and it's not very late, although it is a monday, and it's distractingly quiet. like i want to play some music or pop in a movie but that seems so invasive. i can hear the sound of the fan that constantly runs in my bedroom but nothing else. it's almost deafening. the quiet. i need to make peace with it if i'm going to stay here. expect the unexpected. maybe i'm just tired or losing it a little or missing my small town just a little and so the quiet that is usually ignored is much more vocal to this city girl who's just trying to listen.

surreal

there are really no words to describe the past months- lots of months- lots of moving- lots of emotions- lots of worries- lots of thoughts. so i'm back here writing since i'm back here in the city after leaving it for a year and i suppose with all that's happened that this is the place i'm supposed to be. city girl. fan girl. mom. painter. reader. over thinker. sing loudly in your car wannabe skateboarder. i'm all of it i guess. and it seems as though another new chapter begins. i'm running in to it head on, letting go of everything but positive emotions, less worries and probably still as many thoughts about why the city keeps pulling me back into its arms.