beginning

i'm not exactly sure why i'm calling this post beginning- maybe i'm just exceptionally tired, maybe a new beginning is how i should feel about things at the moment. it seems that my head is so jumbly. full. confused. happy and grateful. curious  i am horrible with patience. and lately, i've been wanting to figure out why things are the way they are and there just doesn't seem to be an answer.  i know sometimes it takes a while to figure out but i need to know. i'm hoping for reasons.  maybe everything doesn't have a reason or maybe it takes a long time because it's supposed to.  i find myself typing randomly to keep from getting to the point. which. is.
i'm leaving the city. leaving the balcony. leaving the sidewalks.  leaving the top of the science museum at night. leaving the beauty of the city. hopefully this beginning is only temporary.